took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Two words: blizzard sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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