My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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