I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Barsexuality is the new black.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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