don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
