Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
