i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
