Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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