She said her name was "party"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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