Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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