y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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