just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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