oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
