Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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