I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
