I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
