I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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