Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
