i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
