Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
