I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
