please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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