I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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