wat bout pragnant strippers??
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
