it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
