Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
