I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
