Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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