Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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