Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize