When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
