I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You smell like a Billy Joel song
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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