i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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