I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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