If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
