I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
