Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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