I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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