So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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