He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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