The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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