so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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