After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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