The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize