and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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