Grow some girl-balls and come out already
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
