I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
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How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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