You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
