Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
wakey wakey hands off snakey
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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