He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
