I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
