I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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