I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it because I queefed?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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