Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize