After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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