i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
