She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
