If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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