I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
