Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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