just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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