I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
