How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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