I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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