Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
