Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize